Business Quotes by Subject
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Funny
Quotes from some
of the leaders in investing, business, and
finance. Includes quotes about being
Funny , making people laugh, and being
the funniest comedian.
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Business Quotes> Humorous Quotes |
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Funny Quotes A-Z by Author |
I know the human being and fish can coexist
peacefully.
George
Bushism - Funny
- Stupid
- Peace
This is Preservation Month. I appreciate
preservation. It's what you do when you
run for president. You gotta preserve. (said
during "Perseverance Month")
George
Bushism - Funny
- Stupid
- Persistence
- President
It's important for us to explain to our
nation that life is important. It's not
only life of babies, but it's life of children
living in, you know, the dark dungeons of
the Internet.
George
Bushism - America
- Funny
- Stupid
- Human
Rights - Important
- Life
- Internet
It's evolutionary, going from governor to
president, and this is a significant step,
to be able to vote for yourself on the ballot,
and I'll be able to do so next fall, I hope
George
Bushism - Politics
- America
- Funny
- President
- Government
They misunderestimated me
George
Bushism - Funny
- Stupid
I'm honored to be here with the eternal
general of the United States, mi amigo Alberto
Gonzales.
George
Bushism - America
- Funny
- Stupid
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful,
and so are we. They never stop thinking
about new ways to harm our country and our
people, and neither do we.
George
Bushism - America
- Funny
- Innovation
My pro-life position is I believe there's
life. It's not necessarily based in religion.
I think there's a life there, therefore
the notion of life, liberty and pursuit
of happiness.
George
Bushism - Religion
- Stupid
- Funny
- Human
Rights - Life
- Belief
- Happiness
There's an old saying in Tennessee.. I know
it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee.. that
says: fool me once, shame on.. .. shame
on you?.. .. Fool me.. you can't get fooled
again.
George
Bushism - America
- Funny
- Stupid
Rarely is the question asked, is our children
learning?
George
Bushism - Funny
- Stupid
- Questions
- Learning
I would like to thank all you Canadians
for your warm welcome at the airport. Especially
those of you who waved... with all 5 fingers.
George
Bush - Funny
- Criticism
I must confess that I've never trusted the
Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool.
Where does it live? How do you hold it personally
responsible? Can you put a distributed network
of fiber-optic cable "on notice"?
And is it male or female? In other words,
can I challenge it to a fight?
Stephen
Colbert - Internet
- Responsible
- Trust
- Funny
I just feel sorry for the people who only
get their news from us because they’re
missing half the joke. Yes, we do a joke
on what the news is, but the other half
is on how the news is reported. So, if they
watch the nightly news or cable news program,
they’ll enjoy our show more.
Stephen
Colbert - Funny
- News
- Enjoyment
- Jokes
I would say there’s almost nothing
that can’t be mocked on a certain level
as long as it doesn’t involve loss
of life or deep human tragedy. I don’t
think we ever looked at something and said
that’s too ridiculous to make more
ridiculous. Contrary to what people may
say, there’s no upper limit to stupidity.
We can make everything stupider.
Stephen
Colbert - Funny
- Stupid
I stand by this man (President George W.
Bush). I stand by this man because he stands
for things. Not only for things, he stands
on things. Things like aircraft carriers
and rubble and recently flooded city squares.
And that sends a strong message, that no
matter what happens to America, she will
always rebound.. with the most powerfully
staged photo ops in the world.
Stephen
Colbert - Funny
- President
- Politicians
- America
- Strength
- Media
- Crisis
I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should
warn you that you'll be facing off against
the 2nd-place finisher at the 1981 Charleston
County High-School Debate Tournament. And
whatever became of that county champ who
argued in favor of tractor safety modifications?
Last time I checked, she didn't have her
own show.
Stephen
Colbert - Funny
- Criticism
If it flies, floats or fornicates, always
rent it.. it’s cheaper in the long
run.
Felix
Dennis - Funny
- Money
- Frugal
Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I
receive a ton of spam every day. Much of
it offers to help me get out of debt or
get rich quick. It would be funny if it
weren't so exciting.
Bill
Gates - Internet
- Funny
- Rich
I think the biggest frustration about reviews
is when they criticize your best bit. And
then you go, “What the ****?”
I remember when I was a comedian, I’d
get a bad review and they’d always
fail to say that the audience was dying
laughing.
Steve
Martin - Criticism
- Funny
- Best
- Frustration
New York's such a wonderful city. Although
I was at the library today. The guy was
very rude. I said, "I'd like a card."
He says, "You have to prove you're
a citizen of New York." So I stabbed
him.
Emo
Philips - America
- Funny
When I was a kid I used to pray every night
for a new bicycle. Then I realized that
the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole
one and asked Him to forgive me.
Emo
Philips - Funny
- Religion
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school
until you get older. Little things like
being spanked every day by a middle-aged
woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later
life.
Emo
Philips - Funny
- School
- Money
A computer once beat me at chess, but it
was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo
Philips - Funny
- Competition
- Computers
I’m about being funny. If I can make
a joke using profanity, I will. But for
the most part, that can get awfully old
and boring.
Howard
Stern - Fun
Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've
gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.
Jon
Stewart - Politicians
- Funny
- Love
- Criticism
That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or
politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age
polymer of both. A synthetic comedy-like
material.
Jon
Stewart - Politicians
- Funny
If my son wants to be a pimp when he grows
up, that's fine with me. I hope he's a good
one and enjoys it and doesn't get caught.
I'll support him in this. But if he wants
to be a network administrator, he's out
of the house and not part of my family.
Steve
Wozniak - Funny
- Jokes
- Jobs
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